Sparkle of Pixie Dust

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Turning 24!

Posted by missrara27 on 7/28/2020 in

so yesterday was my 24th birthday (27 July 2020), time goes by so fast! it feels like it was just yesterday I had my 20th birthday lol, but here I am now, I'm 24! I thank God for everything I've received so far, for blessing me everytime, for the good and bad.

what do you expect will happen on your birthday? honestly gue cuman pengen hari ini berjalan baik tanpa gue harus ngeluh tentang apapun dan gue expect ucapan dan doa-doa dari keluarga dan inner circle gue. did I get it? almost! nyatanya masih ada yang bikin gue harus nahan emosi dan sabar di hari ulang tahun gue. what's that? salah satunya sikap seseorang yang dekat dengan gue yang tidak bisa menempatkan diri di situasi dan kondisi gue yang lagi seneng karna gue ulang tahun. Arghhh am I too selfish? anyway I don't give a shit anymore so yaudahlah. Apakah ulang tahun ke 24 masih berharap dikasih kado? since I got everything I need and I want so I didn't really think about this. what if someone give me a gift? I'll appreciate it and will be very happy. what if someone you know so close not posting about your birthday on their social media? once again, I don't give a fvck. I don't need that either. so why I'm reposting on my instagram? because I never did it before, gue jarang banget repost postingan orang yang mention gue pas ada event, misal pas gue wisuda, gue gak repost satupun postingan orang-orang yang mention gue, waktu gue ulang tahun ke 23 tahun lalu juga gak semua gue repost, simply because I don't want to do it. Bukan berarti gue gak ngehargain kan?

kebetulan, tahun ini gue ulang tahun di hari Senin which is gue masuk kantor, some of my colleagues know about my birthday and some don't. Nyatanya semua jadi tau dan join me celebrated my birthday, they gave me a birthday cake and sang happy birthday to me, whatta day! I'm so happy because it's my first time to celebrate my birthday at my office since last year gue ulang tahun di hari Minggu.

24th birthday cake from colleagues

glass of ice chocolate because it's my birthday

a little story of my (not so) special day!

xoxo,

missrara27

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

I don't Know

Posted by missrara27 on 7/22/2020 in

Hi! how's it going? hope you're all good, unfortunately I'm not😟 why? I don't know and I can't even explain. Gue ngerasa sangat tidak produktif dalam apapun, kerja, socialize bahkan nge-organize diri gue sendiri pfttt, padahal gue orangnya tuh se-organize itu, detail dan kinda perfectionist. Oh iyaa it's been 4 months loh di Indonesia masih aja rame covid even worse, gue gangerti lagi disaat negara-negara lain udah mulai healing bahkan back to "normal" di Indonesia malah makin parah. Jujur aja gue udah males banget ngikutin berita covid karna malah bikin gue tambah kepikiran tapi gue tetep ngikutin protokol kesehatan sebaik-baiknya, sebisa mungkin sih di rumah aja, kalo keluar pun pake masker dan selalu waspada. Dari sebelum ada pandemi ini gue pun orangnya selalu jaga kebersihan banget, dari dulu selalu bawa alat-alat kebersihan kemanapun kayak hand sanitizer, tissue, tissue basah dan selalu bersihin barang-barang perintilan gue pake alcohol, so karna udah jadi kebiasaan ya gue gak latah lagi.

Anyway I think I need holiday, sejak balik dari field bulan Maret lalu gue sama sekali belom liburan yang relax chill gitu, bahkan day-off gue belum gue ambil sama sekali ditambah cuti yang masih banyak. Balik dari field sih gue udah berencana ke Jogja buat Paskah tapi unfortunately udah rame covid jadi gue gabisa kemana-mana, pokoknya udah nyapnyapp banget lah. Walaupun waktu itu sempet work from home but it doesn't help at all, gak membantu nge-refresh otak jiwa raga gue haha and I realize that's not good for my mental health. Awal banget heboh berita covid tuh gue udah sempet stress sendiri, gabisa tidur, overthinking sampe pengen muntah. Speaking of overthinking, gue bukannya ikut-ikutan "trend" orang-orang HAHA, nyokap bokap gue bilangin dan gue juga realize kalo dari kecil gue sering banget mikirin apapun itu. Gue inget pas SD, besoknya itu mau ada ulangan padahal cuman ulangan harian, tapi gue bisa kepikiran tuh malemnya sampe sakit perut dan nangis. Di sekolah dulu gue sempet takut buat bertemen apalagi sama cowok tapi di komplek tuh temen gue sepedaan siang-siang kebanyakan cowok haha aneh banget gue pokoknya. Pas SD gue juga ngerasa kurang nyaman ada di kelas yang rame, gatau gue kepikiran dan takut sampe akhirnya gue nangis dan suka nyamperin kakak gue ke kelasnya tapi gue ngakunya sakit perut hahaha kalo kakak gue baca ini, maaf yak sist gue pasti bikin lo malu dulu😂 Hahaha enough lah cerita tentang piece of masa lalu gue, tapi ya gue emang udah gitu dari kecil.

Postingan ini gak jelas, but the point is I'm not okay right now. I tried to calm myself down, managed my stress and time. I still don't get it.

Cheers,